- Make it clear to your child/ren the hours you work, and write up slots on a timetable somewhere central within your home (the fridge can be a good option!) showing when you have availability. If you have more than one child, then allocate using highlighters when you have time to allocate 1-1 special time for them. This does not take away from meeting your child's essential needs at any point, but does enable your child or children to have that reassurance that there is time allocated within the working week for them to have that uninterrupted and special time 1-1 or together with you.
- Remind your child that your employment is a result of your hard work and commitment in your earlier life, and use it as a way to motivate them for their future. We need to earn money to live, and children are smart and recognise this, ultimately you are then seen as a role model for their own future success, and hard work, and someone to look up to in the future.
- Stick to cut off times while working at home or your workplace, where your day comes to an end, this way you have closure to your day. I suggest a 15 minute relaxation/meditation track using your phone/headphones if commuting, or if working from home, take 15 minutes to switch off from work, and listen to a track, while doing relaxation breathing, to ease you from your paid working role, to your family role. This time is integral, otherwise there is no unwind time for you either, and your head stays wired for work, rather than fully connecting with your family. Remember to always give yourself permission to have this small but important down time in your day, without any sense of guilt, this ultimately puts you in a better mental state to engage with each family member.
- If possible ensure you sit together at the dinner table each evening, and even if you are not eating at the same time as your children, ensure you have a drink, and a small snack to eat alongside them to role model social skills, and togetherness. This time should be used to connect. I highly recommend the use of positive conversation starters with your children (children can be quite reluctant at times to talk about their day, especially with the "how was school?" question!) Questions such as how did you make a difference to someone today? What challenged you today? If you had an opportunity to go somewhere special (could be to space!), who would you take and why? This engages your child's imagination, and allows for children to feel heard, connected, and will often allow for difficult feelings to be discussed. An excellent link to aid with these types of conversations can be found here below. https://www.youngminds.org.uk/media/yewavutz/young-minds-conversation-starters_final-003.pdf
- Recognise, that some days being good enough is okay as a parent, for days like this, reassure yourself on the following: Have I checked in with my child/ren and asked them "is there anything I can support you with, or anything on your mind, that I can try and reassure you about?" Have all my children's basic needs been met? Have I ensured I have really actively listened to each child/ren today for 10-15 minutes with no interruptions? Connection, and being present is one of the greatest gifts we can give our children, and we can do this free of charge! Being a working mother doesn't have to be a guilt ridden experience, you can honestly do both roles confidently, while still maintaining your own identity, and being a loving connected mum. Photo by Benjamin Manley on Unsplash